The phone call

(Telephone ringing somewhere in Hayward...)

"Hello?"

"Hello, Bro? It's Glenn. You know, the guy that runs that football Web site with you during the NFL season? Hey, did you get the trophy?"

"What trophy? You mean the one sitting here on my shelf? Yeah, you gave it to me a year ago. Hasn't budged an inch. Looks really good next to the little calendar I set up with the page open to the date of the 2001 kickoff."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... I hope you're keeping the Surfy warm, because I know it can get pretty cold in that room this time of year and I wouldn't want it to suffer in any way before it comes home to Oakley."

"Suffer?"

"Yeah, suffer, like the Raiders in that AFC Championship game. I wouldn't want it to get tarnished, or warped from extreme temperatures, or..."

"Relax, Bro! I'm taking great care of MY trophy. Why, just the other day while I was polishing it, some guy from the local news station called up and was interested in doing a story on it."

"Wow! A story on our Surfy trophy?"

"Yeah. He said he was doing a piece for 'Unsolved Mysteries' about the trophy that vanished from your place without a trace eons ago."

"Ha, ha, ha. Go ahead and laugh, Little Bro! But you wait until next season. That trophy will be coming back to my place."

"In your dreams!"

"Speaking of dreams, I had this weird dream the other night that a bunch of deranged crows were pecking a giant to death in a big green field and that thousands of people were cheering. There was some thunder and lightning, but the people were so loud and it was so far away that you could barely hear or see it. Then the giant died and some guys in suits came and poured Pepsi and beer all over him. What do you think it means?"

"It sounds like a metaphor for your football predictions this year."

"Well, this is costing me big bucks and I still have to pay my ISP bill this month, so I'd better get off the phone. Congratulations on winning back-to-back Gehlke Bros. Football championships, Sean. So, what are you going to do until next season."

"I'm going to Disneyland! Well, actually, I've got to start working on my predictions so I can do a three-peat. The Browns just got a new coach; I definitely see a Super Bowl berth in the team's future..."

*click! Bzzzzzzzzzzz...*

"Big Bro? Hello?"

See you in September!

Season update: Sean wins by 4

There have been many comparisons drawn between the Gehlke Bros. Football Y2K season and this year's bizarre presidential election -- at least in this space -- but there were no hanging chads or calls for recounts following Sean's decisive performance in Week 17. The Junior Bro's success in taking three out of four splits in the season's final week secured a four-game victory over Glenn, giving Sean his largest lead of the season and his second picks championship in as many years.

Despite the margin of victory, Glenn was very much in the contest right to the end. Coming into the week trailing by two games following an excrutiating Week 16 that saw Sean survive a potential disaster, Glenn had one last opportunity to tie things up with two splits on Saturday. After the Giants beat Jacksonville to clinch NFC homefield advantage through the playoffs, the Senior Bro. was unable to cash in when Buffalo hammered Seattle in the nightcap. That left bleak prospects for Sunday splits, and out of sheer desperation Glenn was forced to create some unlikely opportunities. Unfortunately for him, Arizona fell flat on its ... er, tush in Washington. And then St. Louis added insult to injury by dumping New Orleans to win a playoff berth.

In retrospect there was little Glenn could have done Sunday, as most of the expected winners won. Sean breezed through the week with a 12-3 record. Glenn finished 10-5 and Benji was 8-7. We all correctly guessed victories for Denver, Philadelphia, Pittsburg, Oakland and Tennessee. We all missed the loss by Kansas City.

Now for some interesting season-ending statistics: Through 248 games, Sean finished with an overall record of 158-90 (63.7 percent), Glenn was four games back at 154-94 (62.1 percent) and Benji was 21 games out at 137-111 (55.2 percent). All of us improved over our individual records from 1999 (Sean at 61.3 percent, Glenn with 59.3 and Benji at 54.4). Glenn compiled the best weekly record most often this season, winning outright on five weekends and tying three times, Sean won four and tied three, and Benji won four and tied two. Benji achieved the single best weekend (Week 7) with a 13-1 record, but he also had the single worst weekend (Week 10) at 5-10. In all there were 58 splits this year (down nine from 1999), with Sean winning 31 and Glenn taking 27. Of the 14 weeks in which there were two or more splits, neither Bro. was able to sweep, which just shows how close this season was.

Visit Glenn's Corner and Sean's Corner for preseason predictions and commentary.

2000 weekly results

1. Week 1 — No Music City miracles in Buffalo
2. Week 2 — Two ugly teams provide Sean with sweet victory
3. Week 3 — How 'bout dem Cowboys!
4. Week 4 — Road rage
5. Week 5 — Road rage, part II
6. Week 6 — Let the roadies take the stage
7. Week 7 — Closing in on perfection
8. Week 8 — Why can't they all play like the New York Jets?
9. Week 9 — Redskinned again
10. Week 10 — Vikings feel the pain in Lambeau rain
11. Week 11 — Too close to call
12. Week 12 — A bye week for the Bros.
13. Week 13 — Sometimes you win with a loser and lose with a winner
14. Week 14 — Remember the Titans
15. Week 15 — After further review by the officials...
16. Week 16 — In search of the elusive big break
17. Week 17 — No recount necessary

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